A Testimony of the Family

As the semester comes to an end, so does my blog. I am so grateful for the opportunity I have had to lean about the family and its importance in the world. I know that the family is of God. I know that the family can be eternal and through the gospel of Jesus Christ, it will last. I know that God gave us families to help us through the challenges of life and that they can be the best friends that we will have. I am so grateful for the amazing family that I have been given and for all that they do for me. I can't wait to start my own someday and raise my children in the gospel. I know that the church is true. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Divorce

This has been a topic that has recently been a bigger deal in my life than I ever thought it would be. My sweet boyfriend has parents who are divorced. This isn't a huge deal in our relationship, but I can see how it affects his life. When people get in a divorce, some don't realize who else their choices are going to affect. It will affect their children, their parents, their siblings, their grandchildren, and so on. It's a ripple effect. By their one pebble being dropped in the pond, everything can be shaken and moved. One thing that I've learned, from observation and experience with family members, is marriage ends because of corruption. President Kimball of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints said that any man and women can have a successful marriage if they are willing to "pay the price". As long as two people are willing to put in that effort to make things work and to be patient and compromise. I am very grateful that my parents aren't divorced, but I feel for those who have had that trial in their life. I know that through Jesus Christ, anything is possible, and that includes an eternal marriage and a strong, righteous family. The church is true. The eternal family is the foundation of all things. I am so grateful for my family and all that they do for me, and I can't wait to start my own.

Parenting

The one thing that scares me the most about the future is parenting. The balance between discipline and love and letting your child make their own choices just seems so impossible to me. I don't know how my parents did it, but they have seven amazing children who are good. Parenting is much harder than I ever thought. The more I talk about it and learn about it, the more it scares me. Children should have the opportunity to make their own decisions, but a parent should step in if it's 1) Too dangerous 2) Has consequences that are to far off to benefit and 3) If others are affected. Things like what your child eats and what they wear will affect them, but shouldn't have to strong of a consequence. You should't let your child run free and uncaring, but you also can't be so cold towards them like a dictator. When I was younger, I always thought the my parents were really strict. A;though they were pretty tough, they were just trying to keep me from doing something stupid. I love my parents and I hope I can be as good as they are someday.

Fatherhood

Fatherhood is a great role that most men have the opportunity to fulfill. A father's involvement is an essential part to the development of a child, physically and emotionally. There have recently been new findings that show that a father's involvement in a child's life can sometimes be even more essential than a mother's. Although mother's are so important, there have been studies to show that the father's are just as important and needed. According to "The Family: A Proclamation to the World", the fathers rolls are to preside, provide and protect. My father has been a great example in my life. I love him dearly and wish I hadn’t taken him for granted like I had when I was younger. I have learned so much from him and know I will be learning from him the rest of my life. I am so grateful that I was given my dad, I don’t think that I would be even remotely where I am without his guidance and counsel.

Communication

Communication is one of the things I have struggled with my whole life. When my sister and I would fight, I would usually say something really short and than storm out to find a quiet place to be alone. My sister would always come and find me, wherever I was hiding, and apologize. She taught me something that people need to know, it's better to fess up to what you did and talk things through. In a relationship, it's always good to talk things through. Although talking is an important part of communication, it's not the only thing that have an affect on how people take things. By not talking to someone, it can give an even greater impression on that person than saying something might. A person's tone can also make an impact on what they think. They way we express ourselves is very important and we need to make sure that we are communicating the things we want to .

A Broken Family

One of the hardest things a person has to deal with is a tragedy. This can either be a death, a family member leaving, a divorce, or anything else the can shake a family's structure. At times, this sad event can cause the family to break and crumble. But other times, it can bring them closer. When I was in high school, My young sister got really sick. Her face was really swollen and she couldn't talk. It was honestly scary. But my amazing, smart parents didn't let this hurt our family. Rather then causing panic in the home, they called us all into our living room and told us that they were taking her to the emergency room. They then had us all kneel down and say a prayer as a family, asking for the health of my young sister and the strength of the doctors. They later called us and said that my sister needed surgery, but she would be fine. Through this hiccup in our lives, my family grew stronger rather than pushing each other away. I am so grateful for my parents and their long suffering. They are truly amazing people and I hope I can be as good of parents as them someday. 

The married life...

As a young single adult, I have often thought about what life would be like when I get married. I have always thought that it would be perfect and magical and everything would be right. Recently, I have learned the challenges that married couples face. I am a very neat, OCD kind of person. I hate when things aren't where they are supposed to be. From my past experience with guys, they are not usually very neat. Sometimes, marriage requires a lot of sacrifice and dedication and patients. My parents have been an amazing example to me of working things out in a marriage. They will argue sometimes and they will have different oppinions, but they always work them out and talk about things. You and your spouse might not like the same foods or like the temperature different in the house. But if you can work things out together, it can help your relationship to grow and strengthen, even if he never learns to put his laundry in the hamper.

Not so "Prince Charming"

In my culture, dating is huge. People are always asking out and getting asked out. In the short time that I've been in college, I already have a pretty good idea of my "prince charming", and it's not the same idea I had just a few months ago. In high school, I always looked for the guy with the amazing style, doesn't like football and has a great smile, basically a prince. Although I still like those things in a guy, they aren't at the top of my list anymore. I like to be treated like a queen by a guy. Now I'm not saying this in a selfish stuck-up way, but rather in a thoughtful more aware way. If a guy doesn't open my door or jump up to get something for me on the first date, then what are they going to do in marriage? A guy who is aware of there surroundings is an amazing find and something that has become important to me. Although dress is important, I've learned that a man who is just that, not a prince, but a man, is the best for me. God created men and women to be different, but to complete each other. I don't need someone with an amazing style or someone who doesn't watch sports. I need someone who will complete me and work hand-in-hand with me to raise a righteous family and stand by me for eternity. Marriage is so important and dating is just the first step to get there, and like my mom always tells me, you marry who you date, so choose wisely.

Equality

In our society today, it is popular for people to fell like there needs to be equality. I do believe that both genders should have the same pay and that women  are not objects. But how can we be equal when we are so different. It's like giving a person the choice between an apple and an orange. If the person picks the orange, does that mean they are "discriminating" the apple. No. As a girl, I don't want to be drafted into the army, I want maternity leave when I have kids and I want to be a homemaker, not the main provider. Although there are many different circumstances, there is an ideal family for a reason. Man and women were created differently to complete each other. We work perfectly hand in hand for raising children and creating a home of peace. There will never be equality, and that's OK. Maybe someday the rest of the world will understand and accept the truth. 

Culture

We are all different. Not just in looks, but in how we act, what we do and even how we think. This isn't a bad thing, it's just how we are. I will think differently then the two people sitting across form me at the library. Even though we live in the same place and we probably have the same faith, they both have different backgrounds and families. To them, my ways might even seem offbeat and maybe even strange, but it is just how I am. In today's world, some people have a very narrow view on how people should behave. Although I don't agree with what some cultures believe, that doesn't mean that I look down on them or see them in a different way. I know that my family might do things differently, and I like the way we do it, but others like their way because that's what they grew up with. 

"Preservation of one's own culture does not require contempt or disrespect for other cultures." -Cesar Chavez

Rules or Respect?

In my home when I was little, there were things that my siblings and I knew we should never do. These included things like waking my mom and dad up early or pushing my sister off the tramp or even ignoring our mom when she asked us to make our bed. All of these so called "rules" weren't necessarily written out and taped to the fridge. We didn't do all of these because we had respect for my parents and their divine authority. As a child, I don't think I had a rebellious bone in my body. I think the most rebellious I ever was, was a time in high school where I didn't clean my room when my mom asked because I was doing homework. Now not every child can be as cool as I was, but there should always be a respectful line between a child and their parents. There can't be a blurred line where the child believes they are at the same level as the mom and dad. The child can then walk all over them and there will be no respect and the child could never learn to think of other. But this doesn't mean that there should be a wall. A wall can damage the relationship and trust between them. There still needs to be a picket fence, where the child and parents can have a mutual respect. Even though I am an adult and no longer live at home, I will still check in at night with my mom. Not because I feel like a need to be parented, but because I know she worries and I love her. Our relationship is strong because we have a mutual respect and a good balance between her being a mother and her being my best friend. A good child/parent relationship can be a determining factor on that child's future, whether it's good or bad.

Children?

Growing up, there were always a lot of kids around. Not just in my house, but in all of the other homes around me. Everyone had 4+ kids. So to me that seemed to be the norm. But that thought process all changed just a couple of days ago when I learned the truth. A normal household in the US has an average of 2-3 kids in there home. Some places in the world only have 1, if any at all. Is this a problem? Some would say no. It is easier to support a smaller family financially, which is true. But here is something to think about. Every child you don't have will go to a different home. You have no clue what that other home will be like. The father could be abusive. The mother could be neglectful. There is no way to know. But, if they are born in your home, you can make sure that that child is fed and loved and cared for. You can give them safety and support. You could only give one child this opportunity or you could give this love to 4 or 5 or even 7 kids. You may not have the money to get them all everything, but material stuff doesn't create happiness. We as parents or future parents can give them a happiness that is unmatched by stuff. My parents chose to have 7 kids and I love every one of my siblings more then I can ever explain. I am very grateful for my family and all the love and support they give me. Now I'm not saying you need to have a football teams worth of kids, but I won't deny the promptings I get to have children in my future.

The Fifth

My name is Sarah Staker. I am number five of seven kids, so I have quite a bit of experience when it comes to siblings. I'm a good old Utahan who loves ice cream, Netflix and baking. My niece, in the picture, is my best friend and favorite person on this whole planet. I am currently a student at BYU-Idaho and getting my degree in Family and Consumer Sciences so I can be a teacher AND the coolest mom ever. I am creating this blog as a resource for those who want to learn about family issues and discuss them with me. I love family and I love being able to hear others opinions on things that are going on around us or in our lives personally.